The Wonder Drug Called "Empathy"
Lucknow: “She married into a hospital!” he summarized with an ironic voice. The conversation then moved to our usual discussion on dashboards, numbers, and other topics on the meeting agenda.
It was one of our online office meetings, with colleagues
now connecting from different locations- the new normal way of working. At the
start of the meeting, a little small talk led to one of the colleagues
describing his family- a story of bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, a heart
condition, and dialysis, affecting most the members of his family. While we
were discussing how COVID was affecting the world in general, he was used to
this style of living because that had been the story his entire life. He
claimed that he can do this all daily and with a smile solely because of his
wife- who was his strength, his pillar, his everything.
Let’s take a minute and look at the lady being described
above- married into a family of people who need constant care, continuous
supervision, and accepting all that in her stride. How easily could she have
said no to all of this- and asked for a life of comfort that she had every
right too! She could easily have asked her husband to maybe get a different
accommodation and put the family under an expert’s supervision. She had every
right to ask for this and more, but the lady chooses to live her life with one
wonder drug- empathy.
The meaning of this heavily overused word “empathy” is the
capacity to place oneself in another’s position and understand what the other
person is experiencing. Heavily confused with “sympathy” (feeling sorrow for
someone else’s misfortune/need), the understanding and implementation of this
word are what is needed- more so now. Research indicates that empathy is
crucial for good mental health, probably the second most talked about thing
right now (behind that damn virus of course).
One of the simplest ways to develop empathy is by asking a simple
question- what will be the other person’s action/response in such a scenario?
This is the basic building block of a very difficult concept called
empathy. Post that meeting, I have
started using the lady’s example to gradually understand how I can be
empathetic. You can find your own story- there are umpteen examples you can
stumble upon which can guide you. The “I” needs to be sent a little back and
the “we” need to come to the front.
Put yourself in my colleague’s shoes- the very reason for him being able to keep up with his family’s need is that rock called his wife. The wife, on the other hand, would be smiling every time she gets to hear her husband’s pride-filled description of her. That’s the very basis of an amazing relationship-a little bit of empathy, a little bit of pride, and a little bit of effort. Try it out!
So wonderfully said.... Perfectly scripted.
ReplyDeleteNice Articulation and topic!
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